happy birthday bobby d

my newspaper album came today, it's beautiful but is slightly poignant as due to its arrival i haven't been able to concentrate on revision for the two exams i have this week, one of them being tomorrow morning..

radiohead lsd must be the best lsd in the world

not that stanley designed them for lsd purposes or anything

~my english literature exam didn't go magnificently badly but it wasn't magnificent either. just sort of ok computer. time will tell whether i wrote the right things down or not. whatever, now i can start reading again (i'm really funny about reading a book whilst studying one because it confuses me and my short attention span and i always muddle parts of and lose focus on the book that i actually need to be reading)

speaking of lsd, i read somewhere that bob dylan has outted his heroin addiction or something. and on nme the headline was 'happy birthday bob dylan, what present shall we get him? not heroin'

but now now now now NOW

it's white stripes night

i'm actually going to revise because i'm not giving up that A in chemistry without a fight

I feel really revitalised, as if I've just come out of the bath or something.

It's like I'm tired but at the same time quite fresh and relieved, I can't quite explain it.

I'm suppose to be spending the day in business studies tomorrow but I've decided to stay at home and try and revise because I really do think that's more important at the present moment. And besides, I can try and do some business studies work during the half term of whatever.

I know I'm in trouble with my Chemistry and Physics exams this week, but I really want to do well in my English Literature. That's the one subject that I'd like to do really well in if possible, but yeah, we'll see. I haven't picked up To Kill A Mockingbird in months, so it might be worth scanning over some key parts and what not. Apart from that then it's just memorising the notes on the poems. The actual writing part of it I'm not too worried about because I know I can waffle and make it sound better than it actually is.

Next week is half term and it'll be consumed by History and Maths revision. Words cannot describe how nervous I am for those exams, those are the big two for me, the two that really require real brain power.

I think if I just focus on the feeling of elation that will erupt after that final exam on June the 14th I reckoner I'll pull through. As soon as that day comes then I literally have nothing to fear and nothing to doubt until college begins and the same cycle of revision and exams begins again.

Stop now and ignore any other unnecessary thoughts. Goodnight, travel well.

All I listen to is Icelandic music or Lady GaGa these days.

According to my Last.FM account I've listened to Lady GaGa more times than Radiohead this week.

Well if you feel like revitalising your music library, then may I suggest that you check out this website now. Because it's all about Icelandic bands who aren't Sigur Ros. It's brilliant.

~It's really tempting to buy all of the Radiohead LP's from HMV or somewhere of the sort online because I can't find them anywhere else that's significantly cheaper and I hate bidding on eBay because I always lose. The only thing that's stopping me is that I have a thing about reissues. I love to have the original dated ones from when they were first released but to get one of them usually costs double the amount.

Ponder this away like Amelia Pond.

Once again I'm in trouble with my only friend, I was so determined to come home today and do some English Literature Revision and maybe even possibly a bit of Chemistry too. But I am always so tired and lathargic these days, I never have any energy at all to do anything. My brain explodes otherwise. I can't even really do it tomorrow because Amee is apparently coming round at some point, but well, we'll see about that one. I'd like to try to do a past paper for English Literature by Monday so I can hand it in to my teacher and see what she thinks of it. It's a slightly ambitious task, I know, but I don't even know what an English Literature paper looks like, so I think it would probably be a good idea if I did that to be honest.

I totally just dragged all of these pictures of Radiohead (thOm and Jon Jon mostly) onto my dashboard. There's got to be over 200 there there. I've never seen any of them before and some of them are absolutely stunning. I'll post them on tumblr at some point when I can be bothered.

Just think Rachel, after this week only Maths and History to worry about. Then after that there's a week of solitude company in Devon and two weeks of absolute childish mayhem in Florida.

For now have GaGa:

I have no idea where this was taken and what for but I think it's simply divine.

i should really be focusing on the fact that i have an exam in seven days time.. and another one in nine days time and another one in fourteen days time etc etc

but in actual fact all i can think about is getting insanely drunk with laura on thursday night and going to camden with georgia and hopefully seeing her at the weekend and just all of that thonniness

urgh seriously, nothing else in life matters as much as these things

but see SEE I CAN'T BE THAT BAD

coming to think of it i think i need to start chilling about my exams

i mean take biology for instance, i don't really give a shit about that and as for music as i understand it i've already got a C so i don't really care what happens on that front

english literature is definitely the one i'm most scared about, i think i need to do a lot of work on learning those poems and maybe doing some to kill a mockingbird questions and possibly go in to see my english teacher for some revision

urgh chemistry i would love to do well in because at the moment i'm set for an A/A* which is just ridiculous considering how shit i am at that subject, so i'd love to revise loads for that and achieve either of those grades

physics.. well physics.. hahahahhahaha i really don't care

maths isn't til june but i will hopefully start flicking over some of the mathswatch stuff

and history is a piece of piss

BUT remember rachel, you still have a lot of unit 4 to finish for business studies!!!!!!!!!! just remembered that, that's not too bad though, i can have it finished in a couple of days, hopefully!!!!!!

so yes, i'm not too fussed about any of it

it's not like i'm applying myself academically anymore in terms of higher education and careers

and it's all about the a-levels ultimately even if i do change my mind on the academic front

ahhhh everything feels a little bit on the up

earlier wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, i mean it was sufficiently awkward but i came to the conclusion that no matter how much i'd like it to be, you can't expect everyone to say the right thing about stuff

plus talking to laura and knowing that i'm seeing her again soon helps

my room has the potent smell of paint about it, but paint that's gone off.. which is just horrible and eggy.

ahhhhhhh, i think now is the time for a bug's life

blackberry's have really shit battery. i bet a strawberry has better battery.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my desktop is looking well good man

i love mr yorke in a blue hoodie.

i just love scotch mist in general, it's fucking GOOD man

so i guess we can say it's offically the last week of school, yes?

it's irrelevant because i'm not going in

well for the most part anyway

i reckoner i'll go in for the weird fishes/arpeggi assembly but that's probably about it

i'm really scared that i'll skip divided my exams. at this point i just really don't get the point in showing up for them. there's loads of reasons for it obviously, there has to be, but i just don't think it's worth it.

i

don't want to do my exams

and

i definitely don't want to go to college

and i almost certainly

don't want to be here anymore

the only reason i haven't exploded at the moment is because i'm on my own and i haven't spoken to anyone for about 2 days irl, or since i saw laura.

fuck my life, i have to go to a gig tomorrow

and words cannot describe how much i don't want to go

i'm going to feel shit the entire time because all i'll be thinking about you is the fact that i've sacrificed my feelings to not hurt other peoples once again and everyone else is obviously more important than me.

plus if there's some stupid idioteque in the crowd it'll probably result in a punch up at a wedding or something

arghaghrghrghgrhgrhgrhaghaghgaargh

i'm so fed up of being on my own

because everything's just numb

and i know that if i had contact with a real life person i'd just breakdown completely as soon as i mentioned anything about anything

so it's like at the moment, it's just all inside my head, patiently waiting for an oppurtunity to run wildly out of control and lash out

~

i painted one wall white

and the black strip is done

and i pencilled out the 'keep calm and listen to radiohead'

but now i need to find a stencil of the bear for the top of the strip

apart from that though i don't even know where to begin doing the stanley artwork

it's so intricate and i am so not

luckily a lot of it is just wavy lines, so that shouldn't be too difficult to do....

i leave you with this vegetable for thought

when i go to the big chill festival this year on the saturday, if thOm doesn't do a surprise set i'm going to go fucking ape shit and shut that place down

in true kanye west style which is ironic considering i only got tickets for him

this was before i realised that burial and four tet were there... which almost definitely means that thOm will be there, right?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!!!

here's a picture of thOm at the big chill last year

he's wearing the same jacket as when i met him

the same shirt as haiti

and that hat as lotus flower

thOm likes recycling things

It's 03:48am as I type this title

What was that about having a clearer desktop?

I'm plus 114 on Radiohead pictures.

Wowee, I actually just did some History work. Admittedly it was only copying out Chribster's notes onto my own sheet, but still, it's more than I've done compared to the last months worth of work...

Oh God speaking of work, later on today I have to go into school for another meeting. Fuck my life, I have nothing to show them, again. Ah well, they know I'm prepared to go in during the Easter holidays and that I'm going back in after Easter for actual real lessons, hopefully.

I will eat you alive

I will eat you alive

I will eat you alive

I will eat you alive

Are you hungry?

Are you sick?

Are you begging for a break?

I don't like dark chocolate, never have, never will.

I could stare at this forever, in fact I am staring at this forever..

Tomorrow, well technically today, I've got my first singing lesson in about a month! I think I'm just polishing my songs and reworking parts of them for the Easter hols. My singing teacher has been informed of my 'situation' and still hopes that I can make it into the recording studio in the Easter holidays. I really want to go back into the recording studio, except this time it'll be in a bigger, better studio in Colchester, opposed to the one I went to last time in Mersea. Me, Alison and Richard have all agreed that the job Mark did with the recording wasn't as good as it could of been to say the least... I can't really explain why, it just doesn't sound right. It makes it so much harder to admit is well because the guy was so lovely and helpful.

(During the day) tomorrow I'm going to really try and apply myself to do some artwork. I am so aware and concerned about the fact that I have an exam in about three weeks time and I still have over half a sketchbook to complete, not to mention the preparation that'll go into the final piece...

Enough of all that though, I feel I spend half of my time these days just worrying about exams and sketchbooks, it's so ridiculously sad.

You probably don't need to guess at what the other half of my time is spent thinking about..

This is currently my desktop. LOOK AT THAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: ONLY 40 ODD PICTURES OF THOM/RADIOHEAD ON MY DESKTOP because I transferred the other 834 into a folder. Amazing.

Anyways, I'm off to watch Life on Mars and marvel upon the many wonders of Sam Tyler for a few hours so g'night.

P.S, WASN'T IT A LOVELY DAY TODAY!

Slowly we unfurl

So today I went into school and finished my compositions off, which basically means that my coursework for music is done and all that's left now is revision! Yay. I also finished AO2 of Unit 4 in business studies (at last).

I'm only endeavoring in work which I feel is vitally important between now and the 13th of May. So that basically means only doing work which I'm being expected to hand in on Friday and finishing of my sketchbook for my Art exam. Apart from that though I would say that the majority of school stuff is just revision, which can be savoured until the night before the exam...

My love for Thom Yorke reached epic proportions tonight, it was like I had an epiphany or something. Basically, tonight on Radio 1 Zane Lowe played thirty minutes worth of Radiohead's Glastonbury set back in 2003. Me and certain other individuals on the blogging world went crazy and that's when it happened. That was the moment I realised I was actually truly infatuated with this man. But er no, in terms of the music, it sounded even better on the radio. I mean I have the DVD of the performance and have it saved as a file on my computer for whenever I see fit to watch it. But for some reason when I heard it tonight, it sounded absolutely friggin' magnificient (well more so than usual).

Apart from the mass spamming of peoples dashboards and short spell of listening to Radio 1, I have been texting my equally RH/TY obsessed friend all night. She's lovely and we will start a band together one day and be the this generations Thonny.

Now I'm going to watch an episode of Sherlock downstairs with father and log off of this thing before I have Thom Yorke printed lenses in my eyes, if that makes sense?

Peace and love

A bump on the head

This time last week I would of been still hyperventilating after I met Thomas.

Sigh. I love this man so much.

Now I'm off to buy the new Kills album, from what snippets I heard last week, it sounds pretty good to me. Put it this way - you can definitely tell that Alison has spent quite a bit of time with Jack White. That most probably made no sense whatsoever.

Urgh, what else is happening? Well, I gave my word to the teacher that I would stick to the timetable they gave me and do the work set. However, day 1 is almost over and I've done none of it. I don't see the fucking point.

Also, this came in the post a couple of days ago:

It's so beautiful :3

Earlier, I did something I haven't done in ages. I played the guitar and had a wee jam. It was quite satisfying but meh, I still don't feel capable of achieving the music I want to on my own. I need to be in a band! Watch this space..

Now I'm listening to Arcade Fire. I must say, after a few listens, their latest album - The Suburbs, is actually pretty good. Better than I thought it was orginally anyway.

My dad has pissed me off unsurprisingly. I want to watch an unlimited amount of Life on Mars and just imagine what it would be like if John Simm played Thom Yorke in a movie. I love John Simm. I don't love Doctor Who though, at least not past David Tennant's finale episodes.

Bored bored bored.

I very very very very very very very very very much doubt I will be sleeping tonight.

Today has probably been one of the most surreal, yet perfect days of my life. All I can smell is newspaper and all I can see is a strange looking man in a paperboy cap........

Apart from all of this kerfuffle though, I have to start doing actual work tomorrow! Can you belieber it! Firstly I have to catch up on the work I didn't do today because I was at some record store in East London exchanging words and looks with Thom Yorke which is basically two hours of business studies and an hour on SAM learning. Oh yes. I then have to do double history and an hour of English note taking/revision before my past paper on Wednesday. As well as all of this I have to go into school at 4 o'clock to do some music composition work. I am going to refuse to go into the music room until Sir accepts that Radiohead belong on the Wall of Fame and lets me choose an appropriate picture to represent them. So that's all my work for a day. Apart from this though I have two episodes of Eastenders to watch, a brand spanking new episode of Jersey Shore AND the finale of Silk!

I'm going to go and desperately try to catch up on some Z's, although I really can't see it happening, to be honest. I'll put Sherlock on, he's a quaint distraction.

I'm sorry, but is anyone elses YouTube being ridiculously slow?

I just did a strand test for the actual blonde dye and it's come out pretty well. I think I'll give it a go in a bit.

This is currently what my desktop looks like...

I doubt you need to second guess at what all the different files are...

MO-P came round earlier and played the family 'mediator'. It kind of helped, in the sense that no plates were smashed due to her prescence *makes reference to Like Spinning Plates*. I've been told that I technically don't need to go into school until my exams, which is fabulous news. Basically, the school want me to at least try the reduced timetable just as a benefit to myself and my dealings in social instances, however, I don't actually need to go into school if I don't want to. At this present moment I think I'll be taking up the school on their most generous offer. People have been trying to get me to go back in for the upcoming days, I never quite knew how to tell them to fuck off, I'd rather eat a Lion, apparently my body language spoke clear enough though..

On a lighter stupidly erotic note;

Um well er, yes. I don't quite know what to say...

Well, have you got something constructive to say that doesn't involve 'you know who'?

Yes.

I finished my English essay. I manipulated a lot of information I found on the Internet that clever people had submitted though. This being because I couldn't be bothered to think for myself. I mean who does that these days?

Also, I forgot how yummy strawberries were.

I just found this amusing. Ha ha.

Hum, what else? Oh yes, I think I might watch Harry Potter once I've showered.

(this post is really difficult) oh and roast dinner at the Queen's Head was nice, again...

I'm ever so slightly short on conversation and anything light and interesting and not about you know who...

BUT I CAN'T HELP MYSELF; IF I CHANGED MY LAST NAME TO OWEN I WOULD HAVE CHILDREN WITH HIM FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Ahem, so yes! Other things! Oh yeah, I got a rejection from the Grammar. I've gotta be honest, when I opened the letter I kind of sighed to myself. It was like all those expectations just flew out of the letterbox, as well with my future. Just kidding of course.. what I meant was after my day at the recording studio, just writing songs in general as well as performing them occasionally, I just know what I want to do. Even if I fail at it miserably. I'd rather be 100% confident in what I'm doing then feel like a complete delinquent surrounded by a bunch of Etonians. Oh and I tried to do the whole videoing me with my guitar and singing and put it onto youtube but I came across a slight dilemma. That dilemma being the fact that my guitar is too loud for the microphone.... so looks like I'm waiting on the final mixes from Mark at the studio.

Yes. Half term was nice while it lasted I suppose. There were quite a few Oh's in this post, no? Night night?

V spring preview, 07

I'm so bored I just did my English homework. Now I'm going to finish my history exam and hopefully print all of my art stuff off.

In the meantime though, time for Kid A.

Headache

qvest, October 08

The Brit awards are utter bull shit.

My prom dress arrived and it is shocking. In an absolutely fabulous kinda way. Ha ha, just waiting for the shoes now and they are even more flamboyant than the dress, if that is possible..

Dance you fucker dance you fucker

Loving life at the moment. I have a history exam due in for tomorrow and still so much art to do. Never mind though. It's half term next week. But even that isn't going to free up that much time. Monday is an emergency singing lesson, then Wednesday I'm in the recording studio all day then Thursday I'm in Holland-on-Sea to get my dress altered. Oh and then I want to go to London at some point. Gasp.

Oh well, Radiohead, Waterloo Road and Jacket Potatoes will make everything OK.

I could marry him.

I might shoot VR into the wall at this rate..

I'm bored. So far today I've had 5 pointless lessons at school, felt in the cusp of a bitch fest and watched Lord of the Rings.

Oh yeah, and it's my birthday today.

DEATH FROM ABOVE 1979.

This is why Zane Lowe's intuition is good.

Today my costume arrived. It's rather amazing if I may say so myself. The material is slightly different to what I imagined and the hat is practically impossible to fix into my hair. But hey ho, I'm hopefully buying a wig tomorrow to eradicate this dilemma, and when it gets too tight around my neck on Saturday I'll just simply transfer it to my wrist.

I heard in passing that my Grammar interview is supposedly going to be next Thursday. Apparently the reason for the slight delay was due to the fact that over 300 people have applied for around 30 places. If my maths serves me justice, I believe that there's literally a 1 in 10 chance in me getting in. And considering that I have never entertained lady luck, ever, I think I can bargain on beginning my college life on the top of North Hill. Boo hoo, that place makes me feel like I'm an insignifant pea in a giant pod of normality that goes with being at a comprehensive...

I'm gonna put this to one side though. To be honest I'm just oh so glad that those tiresome science exams are over and now I have a party to look forward to!

This is a low (down)

First of, I think it's brilliant how you can get less than 50% on a higher paper and still get a B. This is music to my ears as far as my chemistry exam tomorrow is concerned.

But yes, I haven't really had time to post this week due to music lessons, revision, art and a bit more revision. This week has been awful. I finished three sketch books in the space of around 6 hours for art. My art teacher gave me some well deserved recongition for this, as some of the pages were surprisingly well thought out for me! Then I had my biology exam. If you'd asked me how I thought I was going to do on Monday I probably would've laughed in your face. However, after my revision session with Mr. Jordan on Tuesday I was far more confident. Then come the day of the exam I think it went rather swimingly. I mean let's not get carried away here, I doubt it did that amazingly. However, I reckon I exceeded a pass, which is good enough for me!

"you know when you just know that you did utterly shit. Not even in a 'let's just pretend to act really surprised if I do well' thing. Just a general 'I did shit.'" this is honestly how I felt about my English results right up until I saw the little letter on the piece of paper and I just shouted FUCK OFF?! I was generally that shocked at how well I'd done. Literally.

Earlier I went to some guitar unit at the Cowdray Centre with my singing teacher and papa. It was like a mini masterclass in how you know whether your guitar is in good condition or not. My singing teachers partner who just so happens to work there went through what needed adjusting to stop the strings snapping. He did this without being condescending or degrading about any of it. Which was lovely because if you ask these sought of things at Manns Music they practically laugh in your face. But yes, my baby went on the operating table and I was with her every step of the way. I went home knowing how to restring a guitar and lemon scented guitar.

Now, after a drive and some shopping, I'm sat doing some Chemistry revision. I'm not too nervous about my exam tomorrow after seeing the mark scheme and what not.

Nine days til my birthday and eight days til Gossip Girl starts! Yesterday my dad and my sister went to Brick Lane to get me some birthday presents. I've told anyone getting me anything to literally get me anything. This year I am completely open to surprises. This mainly being due to my attention being drawn to whether my birthday party will be a pulpable hit, or not?

Oh and finally some awesome news! I'm in the recording studio on the 23rd of Feb! AT A MASSIVE DISCOUNT!

(Alex James is sooo cute)

Title:

I love Editors. Right here, right now.

More importantly, I love the fact that I have a good biology teacher. And I also love the fact that I can sort of, kind of remember most of the bits & bobs needed for tomorrows exam. I just did a past paper you see, marked it like a proper examiner would (you know the whole 'it's like drawing blood' thing Loxley says, well I applied that method. I made a mess.) and it said I got an A*!! I don't mean that in a concieted, I'm so amazing way. I mean it in a get the fuck out. Science is not my thing, are you joshing me? Unfortuntely though I know that ladyluck will not be on my side tomorrow. That's just how it usually goes. Oh and also I believe we find out our English results on Friday. Pretty nervous about that one, you know when you just know that you did utterly shit. Not even in a 'let's just pretend to act really surprised if I do well' thing. Just a general 'I did shit.'

But yes, it's 23:27 and I have a mountain of a sketch book that needs finishing by tomorrow.

NA NIGHT X

Hum.

It's either London or revision. I literally cannot decide what one is more important. At the moment I'm thinking revision, this is only really because at this specific moment in time I'm too tired to move. However, I think a trip to London would be nice, especially after the disaster that was Lakeside last weekend. I suppose in that case I should really get moving then if I'm to be back for 6!
Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange

Call minimalist music boring again and I'll shoot you in the head..

I like Steve Reich's music. I dislike the fact that we haven't yet managed to get to that particular part of the setworks in music yet and furthermore the lack of interest shown by the music teachers towards it. It's disgraceful. But hey ho, do not even get me started on the music department at my school. I almost feel sorry for them.