There's something about this time of the year, obviously.

I don't feel like smiling or talking or laughing or bothering or socialising or explaining or thinking or anything.

Don't let go
Never give up
It's such a wonderful life

Is a lot easier said than done HURTS.

Quickly make the point that when I'm your age (20 or something, yet you like to think you're decades ahead of the rest of us) I really really really hope, in fact I pray, that I'm not as bitter as you. Bitch.

Anyway, now that I've got that well and truly out of my system, just left with all of the other millions of things that are eating me.

I think I'm going to be sick.

I'm trying SO hard to fight against all these reminiscent feelings but they're completely overwhelming, I feel like I'm running an uphill race or something. It's weird to think about where I was a year ago and how close I am to moving well and truly past that and how close I am to falling back into it.
No matter how hard I try to calm myself and think of other things and block it out and focus on positivity oh fuck, none of it works. I don't want to be here anymore. Not really. Might as well just fuck off and join all the good ones, this side is bringing me down.
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