my capacities are rather limited at the moment, so i'd appreciate it if people in the house wouldn't keep testing me and expecting things of me.
i remember last week after the usual argument with dad and at the end of it i just said (in what i thought was a highly sarcastic tone) "yeah well i'll just do what i always do and forget about it and not upset anybody and pretend that nothing's effecting me or bother how i might be feeling. no no no, it's fine, obviously how you're feeling will take priority over myself, every time" and he just said "ok" and then walked off quite cheery as if everything was ok! I WAS BEING VICIOUS YOU BASTARD! jesus christ, and since then there hasn't been a major argument because he thinks that everything's fine and dandy and there's nothing to worry about even though half an hour before the row i'd told him about my suicide wishes and possible mental condition he just told me i don't mean any of it and i should stop repeating myself.
i actually hate him.
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