I'm so scared, more scared then I've ever been.

I'm really worried that my dad is ill. I mean really ill.

Ihatehimihatehimihatehimihatehimihatehimandiwishineverhadtoseehimeveragain

Before you run away from me

My dad likes to think that he cares for everyone else apart from himself, when in actual fact his sub conscious is screaming the other.

If he cared then he wouldn't of walked out like that. He would do the decent parent thing and actually make certain that I was OK.

Do you have any idea how devastating it is to be proven right about your superstitions? The man I always thought was my dad isn't. He's a far colder, broken, separated person than I could of ever imagined.

The theory is that as soon as mother passed, my dad shut himself from emotional capability completely. Perhaps not even being aware of his decision. He promised to be there in presence and physicality, but emotionally and mentally he was absent. He didn't trust in loving someone or opening up to anyone when he saw the closest person imaginable be taken away from him like that, as if no matter how much he was there for her, it still wasn't enough.
Me and my sister are collateral damage, bystanders in an explosion of sensibility and witnesses of a sleeper.

.. My dad is brain dead to me. And I don't think he's ever going to wake up.

My name is Rachel Lee. And today I realised that I have no family.
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