AP - So what do you do all day then if you're not going into school?

RL - Oh I procrastinate. I procrastinate a lot.

AP - Might it be worth going to see a pyschologist or something?

RL - Only if you see obsessing over Thom Yorke and Radiohead a dangerous diversion to the pointless, apparent neccisities of GCSE examinations.

AP - ...

RL - I'm known to bite in tight situations.

AP - I beg your pardon?

RL - Clearly you haven't listened to Skip Divided...

AP - Well no, no I haven't. What's that?

RL - This is when I leave.

AP - Why are you leaving?

RL - Because Thom Yorke doesn't give a fuck.

AP - But you're not Thom Yorke, Rachel?

RL - No, you're right. I'm Rachel, Thom Yorke's partner.

AP - ...

RL - It's true, we met at Exeter university and have two children named Noah and Agnes.

AP - Now Rachel, have you ever heard of the condition erotomania?

RL - Yes.

AP - It's when someone belie-

RL - I know what it is, you don't need to tell me. And I know you're probably going to attempt to diagnose me with it. Just know this; I choose to believe the things I do because there's nothing else in this boring, fucked up 'reality' to believe in.

AP - OK, OK. Well I was ju-

RL - Nevermind. I have to go now.

AP - Oh but don't, I wo-

RL - No, really, I have to go.

AP - Why? What's the rush?

RL - Thom can't remember where I parked the car.